Santa, girl's school shoes and a kick in the shin
Hope, hope… yes there is hope after all! For the second time in as many uni days, I stayed awake and interested in a whole one hour lecture! Wow! Go me! Last Friday in one of my lectures, a quadriplegic guy came to talk to us, about his injuries, his life before and after the accident… and while I wasn’t interested in the science stuff of it, it actually spoke to me personally… a very insightful lecture indeed. I thought it’d be the first and last time I’d be interested in a whole 1 hour lecture but I was wrong… hope has arrived!
Today, in some random scientific lecture about diseases I actually managed to stay awake and interested in the whole lecture for the second time. I just hope it’s a taste of what’s to come next year in my uni course.
Hmm, speaking of firsts… today I got kicked in the shin for the first time. Won’t go into specifics but yeah, it hurt… for a loooong while…
So yeah, lately I’ve been thinking about prophecy. Well actually it’s more so to do with discernment… but my trusty bong smoking friend, Tim Yao, aptly said its really prophecy… so I’ll go with that.
Since year 9 or so, I’ve been able (well not really ‘me’ but yeah…) to quite accurately hear from God. I’m not sure why, I don’t ever remember asking or praying to hear from Him, in fact I didn’t even realise it was Him that was talking to me until a while after. But yeah, it’s been convicting to say the least. Even though my emotions or my reasoning would hide certain things, there’d always be a voice that would ‘see through’ everything, a wisdom far superior to mine. So yeah it’s been good, being able to discern why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling etc etc.
However, I’ve felt that there’s been a shift this last year from not only seeing into my life, but others as well. And I haven’t been developing this gift anywhere near as I should have been. I guess there was a stage where I just didn’t want to believe the things I was seeing in other people. But yeah, thank God that I’m past that. However, I’m finding it really difficult to properly know if what I’m seeing is really God given and not made up by own wisdom and perception. I guess it was easier to discern the things happening in my own life as I knew it was God speaking when I got convicted or when what was being said was simply past my current wisdom. But when it’s discerning into the lives of other people, when you’re ‘seeing’ things about a person that are behind the scenes, when perhaps you might know their motives when they themselves do not know, its kind of hard to get that reassurance or backing that what you’re discerning is really God given.
And I dunno really… I guess whatever word or knowledge that is given to me, in regard to other people, must be of love and not hate, of patience and of care. It shouldn’t be assumed; it shouldn’t be added or based on rigid methods of psychology. And yet even if the knowledge, even if the perception I get of other people fits into all those categories… I still just not sure… I simply can’t ignore that what I might be saying might be wrong or delivered in the wrong way.
I have the upmost faith that whatever God says is 100% pure goodness… but I guess that’s not the problem, it’s like the age old question… is what I hear from God really Him… but in a different approach.
Well maybe it’s just cos I’m tired… I haven’t had much sleep lately… perhaps I just need to sleep on it, hear a bit more… wait a bit longer… I guess when the birds tell you to go to sleep at 5 am and when the sun gets up before you go to bed on a Sunday morning, it ain’t exactly the best for a good night’s sleep.
Well I’m really tired atm, I might add more later if anything comes up. Till next time, adios.
God I pray you will let me see
A wisdom given not from me
With a light that I can never doubt
The enemy of dark You shall rout
Thank you God for what you gave
I will never be a slave
To see hope shine forth from You
To make my Spirit always new
Today, in some random scientific lecture about diseases I actually managed to stay awake and interested in the whole lecture for the second time. I just hope it’s a taste of what’s to come next year in my uni course.
Hmm, speaking of firsts… today I got kicked in the shin for the first time. Won’t go into specifics but yeah, it hurt… for a loooong while…
So yeah, lately I’ve been thinking about prophecy. Well actually it’s more so to do with discernment… but my trusty bong smoking friend, Tim Yao, aptly said its really prophecy… so I’ll go with that.
Since year 9 or so, I’ve been able (well not really ‘me’ but yeah…) to quite accurately hear from God. I’m not sure why, I don’t ever remember asking or praying to hear from Him, in fact I didn’t even realise it was Him that was talking to me until a while after. But yeah, it’s been convicting to say the least. Even though my emotions or my reasoning would hide certain things, there’d always be a voice that would ‘see through’ everything, a wisdom far superior to mine. So yeah it’s been good, being able to discern why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling etc etc.
However, I’ve felt that there’s been a shift this last year from not only seeing into my life, but others as well. And I haven’t been developing this gift anywhere near as I should have been. I guess there was a stage where I just didn’t want to believe the things I was seeing in other people. But yeah, thank God that I’m past that. However, I’m finding it really difficult to properly know if what I’m seeing is really God given and not made up by own wisdom and perception. I guess it was easier to discern the things happening in my own life as I knew it was God speaking when I got convicted or when what was being said was simply past my current wisdom. But when it’s discerning into the lives of other people, when you’re ‘seeing’ things about a person that are behind the scenes, when perhaps you might know their motives when they themselves do not know, its kind of hard to get that reassurance or backing that what you’re discerning is really God given.
And I dunno really… I guess whatever word or knowledge that is given to me, in regard to other people, must be of love and not hate, of patience and of care. It shouldn’t be assumed; it shouldn’t be added or based on rigid methods of psychology. And yet even if the knowledge, even if the perception I get of other people fits into all those categories… I still just not sure… I simply can’t ignore that what I might be saying might be wrong or delivered in the wrong way.
I have the upmost faith that whatever God says is 100% pure goodness… but I guess that’s not the problem, it’s like the age old question… is what I hear from God really Him… but in a different approach.
Well maybe it’s just cos I’m tired… I haven’t had much sleep lately… perhaps I just need to sleep on it, hear a bit more… wait a bit longer… I guess when the birds tell you to go to sleep at 5 am and when the sun gets up before you go to bed on a Sunday morning, it ain’t exactly the best for a good night’s sleep.
Well I’m really tired atm, I might add more later if anything comes up. Till next time, adios.
God I pray you will let me see
A wisdom given not from me
With a light that I can never doubt
The enemy of dark You shall rout
Thank you God for what you gave
I will never be a slave
To see hope shine forth from You
To make my Spirit always new
posted by Dazz at 8:53 pm
4 Comments:
what a cool gift.
i have been saddled with a similar thing (but to a seemingly lesser extent) so i know where you are coming from.
When you speak the truth in love to someone, they usually can recognise how genuine it is.
Also, another thing I have found.. Is that you might show someone something, and they say yeh you're so right! And then they don't change!
Its easy to be annoyed or upset by this, or to think that you suddenly need to constantly remind them to change. (However as far as I know you Dazz, that doesn't seem to be a problem.)
In most circumstances its best to 'shake the dust off your feet' as happens in the Bible. Deliver the message, and then they can choose to respond.
Mat.
how wise, mat! hmmm.
hmm yeah i know what you mean mat... but it's more so to do with... is what I 'see' accurate, is it from God or from my mind?
from one peace pipe puffer to another..
*thumps chest*
puff.
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